Dressing for Dinner
by oboe11
Summary: Missing scene from Top Hat, White Tie & Bomb Sight


The T.V. show Hogan's Heroes belongs to Bing Crosby Productions. No ownership of the Hogan's Heroes characters is implied or inferred, and no infringement is intended.

Missing scene from "Top Hat, White Tie, and Bomb Sight" (Season 1, Episode 10)

Episode Summary: Klink has Hogan's quarters bugged. Hogan uses this to make Klink believe that he knows about a top secret device known as the Norton. Klink and Burkhalter wine and dine Hogan at the local hotel to try to convince Hogan to share his knowledge. This provides Hogan with the opportunity to make contact with an Underground agent at the hotel who is in danger of being exposed. After dinner, Hogan does part with his secrets – the details on the Norton vacuum cleaner.

This is a short scene that was missing in the original episode. It explains how Klink and Burkhalter "convinced" Hogan to wear a German uniform into town and why he's the only officer who is wearing a belt.

"You wanted to see me sir?" Hogan's head popped through the slightly ajar door as he leaned into Kommandant Klink's office.

"Yes Hogan, come in, come in" Klink quickly came around from behind his desk to usher in his Senior POW Officer, Colonel Hogan. "This is General Burkhalter, head of the all the prison camps of illustrious Luftwaffe…" Klink gestured to the fat man perched on the sofa under the window.

"General," said Hogan, nodding in his direction. Turning back to Klink, he said, "What's this about Kommandant? You're not canceling our volleyball tournament again are you? The men were so looking forward…"

"Have a seat Colonel," General Burkhalter interrupted. "We need to talk."

"Talk, sir?" asked Hogan as he dropped into the chair in front of the desk. "Does this mean you want to hear about all the horrible things Klink puts us through? Like cold showers, sawdust in the bread, surprise roll calls…makes a guy wish he could escape!"

"No, Colonel, the last thing I want to hear about is Klink. I understand however that you've been a model prisoner of late…"

"Well, I have been able to discourage the Escape Committee from trying anything. Can't get anything past the old Iron Eagle! Foolish to try really," replied Hogan, grinning as he clutched his crush cap in his lap.

"…that you desire a night on the town, with some good food, perhaps a little company of the female persuasion? Ja?"

"Only if she's pretty, sir. I may be a prisoner of war, but I still have standards!"

"Hogan!" Klink came around beside the Colonel and shook his finger at his Senior POW officer. "We're prepared to offer you an evening of dinner and dancing at the hotel in town as a reward for your co-operation. Don't make me confine you to quarters instead!"

"Sorry, sir," Hogan looked down and did his best to look chastised. "If I may ask, what's the catch?"

"Catch?"

"Yeah! Do I get to go on my own?" Hogan asked eagerly, looking up at the two Germans.

"Don't be ridiculous Hogan! The Kommandant and I will be accompanying you," replied the General.

"No guards? No chains? No handcuffs? They really hinder my dancing you know and I'm rusty enough as it is."

"There will be a guard in the car but not at dinner. Restraints will not be necessary, will they?"

"Of course not, just wanted to double-check. Well, I'd better go get ready!" said Hogan, popping up from the chair and heading towards the door.

"One more thing, Hogan" added Burkhalter.

"What's that, General?" said Hogan, pausing with his hand on the door knob.

"What size are you?"

"Come again?"

"Size. Of clothing. What size to you wear?"

"40 last I checked sir. The sawdust in the bread does help keep the weight off though! Why?"

"Surely you don't expect to be gallivanting around town in an Allied uniform?"

"Why not? I've always found it lucky with the ladies."

"You might find the German ladies a bit more particular. You may also find yourself getting shot."

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"Shultz!" bellowed Klink. The office door opened and Sgt Shultz trundled in. "Bring me a size 40 uniform from the guards' stores!"

"Jawoll, Herr Kommandant!" snapped Shultz, coming to attention and saluting before doing an about-face.

"Hold on a minute! You don't expect me to wear a German uniform belonging to a non-commissioned officer do you?" argued Hogan, pouting a little.

"It's all that we've got," replied Klink. "It will have to do."

"Well forget it. I'd rather take my chances with the boiled cabbage, thank you very much! Besides, who would believe a lowly Private dining with a Colonel and a General?" Hogan spun to leave.

"Hold it, Hogan! You're right," intervened Burkhalter. "Klink! What size are you?"

"42, Herr General."

"Hogan, try on Klink's tunic."

The two colonels looked at each other and shrugged. Klink started to unbutton his tunic while Hogan unzipped his bomber jacket. Klink slipped off his tunic and handed it to Hogan, who quickly tried it on.

"Not bad, not bad at all. A little loose in the waist for our tailoring though, eh Klink?" commented General Burkhalter as he inspected Hogan. "Sergeant! Go fetch a clean uniform from Klink's closet for Colonel Hogan. And bring him a belt from stores. That will cinch in the waist. Colonel, I suggest you go get ready. And hurry, I'm already feeling hungry…"


End file.
